Saturday 2 May 2009

A consideration of domestic crime

I read in The Times today that felonies by domestic servants have gone up. I cannot suspect what is causing this, but my top hat balances carefully upon a silver tea tray.... should I recall the time of elves, when men walked on all fours? these sheets knot around me, I smell the vinegar close at hand, it's nearing my torso - let me free! I will walk again, but these blacklegs, they poison me!

Darkness descends, I take a passageway under the earth's crust and head South beneath the Thames... a lark alights, I consider the reaper. The light! And fishwives from Billingsgate are hawking their wares - then buboes, syphilitic chancres poison my body and I am lost...

I hear that some respectable-looking young women, in the service of middle-class and fashionable families, are connected with burglars, and have been recommended to their places through their influence, or that of their acquaintances. Shocking, really.

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