A surprising incident caused by a distracted valet

Brown, my curmudgeonly old retainer, has been at it again. I rang downstairs at ten past eight, feeling peckish for a little lightly-grilled sea otter. The rumple-faced old darling arrived at my door an entire eighteen minutes later, with no excuse for his tardiness.

"What the devil is this?" I wondered to myself at my valet's manner, which was even more morose than usual. When I requested a second helping of walnut shavings, he positively glowered at me from beneath his heavy brow. My interest well and truly piqued, I questioned Brown as to whether anything was distracting him from his business. At this, he revealed what was on his troubled mind.

"Our industrial policy is about a dialogue with business, leading to a consensus about what we in Britain need to do to face this global future, and then of course a partnership for the future that I believe is to the benefit of all," he muttered stonily, as he ladled Cardinal sauce all over my jacket.

"Damn it, Brown!" I exclaimed, leaping from my chair and throwing my napkin to the floor. "What in the blazes is wrong with you?"

My man-servant looked sheepishly at me, then slowly uttered: "We have difficulties that we are overcoming, but we have also got enormous opportunities and challenges ahead. Working together, we can meet and master every challenge." He then excused himself and left the room.

I can only suspect his eccentric behaviour has something to do with his questionable management of my household finances - an area in which I was led to beleive he had impeccable credentials. If such erratic acts continue, I shall be forced to send him out onto the street and seek new help.