Friday 19 August 2011

A chill awakening... and some food for thought


It was in the darkness of night that I once more felt the chill hand of my dead wife upon my brow... looking up at her many wandering eyes, I realised she wished to lead me away from my bed. She drew away, calling me to follow in her native tongue of clicks and whistles.

She led me in my stockinged feet into young Rebekah’s chamber as she slumbered. Was this something to do with the queer behaviour of young Rebekah? Was :;.^. leading me to information which could solve this mystery? At first I thought Rebekah had been affected by the same sickness of the mind that has lately come across all of the lower orders of London - not to mention Birmingham and Manchester - causing them to enact violent outbursts in outlets of JD Sports.

(As an aside, the bizarre “riots” of these menial workers is perfectly explained by Dr. Augustus J. Stigwood’s Theory of the Sotadic Zones, in which I have postulated that around the major conurbation of London are areas where one can predict increased proclivity towards immodest behaviour. I am currently developing a further theory that explains the cause: the positioning of a number of huge electro-magnetic “engines” which have been installed by Government forces within major London landmarks such as the Monument to the Great Fire. Such magnetic radiation would easily explain these “rioters”’ behaviour.)

And so it was that my partner in detection :;.^. pointed down upon a pocket book beside Rebekah’s bed, inches from her auburn curls that scattered so becomingly across her pillow. Taking it up, I found an entry:

“7 AUGUST: PAYMENT OF 2S 3D FROM MR RUPERT MURDOCH ESQ”

My eyes darkened as I read these words. What fresh dirt is this? Still in the pay of her former employer is she? I suspect treachery is afoot…

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